A time of fasting

The past month sped by like a cheetah. (lame simile, I know) But that's the best I can come up with right now. Though right now, coming up with similes should be the last thing I'm doing, and yet here I am, writing about it. I should be finishing my illustrations for my final thesis. Instead, here I am...taking a break... One cannot simply work continuously on an illustration, unless you have ADHD. Haha. All jokes aside, I just want to share what I've been up to this past week. Last Sunday, I was overcome by the amount of time I waste on social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter. Yes, I know that John Lennon said that the time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time...but still, you can't help but think of the time that's passed, passing, and will pass. How you can't get any of it back. Sometimes, I find myself on the verge of hating the concept of time... I once saw a picture of a vandalism, "time doesn't exist, clocks do." I can't help but wonder why the person who invented clocks did it... Why was it so important to know the time? The philosopher who wrote the book of Ecclesiastes said it most sensibly:

There is a time for everything,

    and a season for every activity under the heavens:

a time to be born and a time to die,

a time to plant and a time to uproot,

a time to kill and a time to heal,

a time to tear down and a time to build,

a time to weep and a time to laugh,

a time to mourn and a time to dance,

a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,

a time to search and a time to give up,

a time to keep and a time to throw away,

a time to tear and a time to mend,

a time to be silent and a time to speak,

a time to love and a time to hate,

a time for war and a time for peace.

 It got me thinking... Should I really allot a time for checking Facebook and Twitter? If the philosopher lived during our time, will he add a line saying "a time to tweet and a time to post a status"? It can be a possibility! Especially now when everyone seems to like sharing everything that's going on in their lives, their likes, dislikes, rants and whatnot. So that Sunday, I thought to myself, why are you wasting your time in front of a computer when you can do so much more. That night, I also decided that I will make time away from those networking sites. I unplugged my computer to plug in my heart, to spend some time with the Lord (and also some time with my thesis and in front of the TV). Fasting from Facebook and Twitter may seem like a small task but its effects are tremendous. Come Monday, I have lesser things to procrastinate with. I had more time to work on my thesis and to reflect about some of the problems I have in my life right now. It gave me more time to work on school requirements, to think, to pray, and to get closer to God. Fasting is usually for food but when you go online on Facebook or Twitter everyday like it's a necessity, I think it's something that can be a good start for you in learning how to fast. Fasting is something you do to enable more of your spirit to hear clearly what the Lord is saying to you. It will help you focus more on your relationship with Him. It's already Friday and I haven't logged in on Facebook for four days. I believe I can still go on without that site for a few more days and that's what I plan to do. This post will serve as my commitment to cutting time from social networking sites to give more time for my relationships (with thesis, friends, and most especially, with God). Please pray with me. :)

Blurred Vision

Sometimes, life goes by so fast it becomes a blur. I was once subjected to the question, "what's your biggest fear?" And I had to answer using any Queen song. I googled their songs and found a list. In that list, the song that seem to be most apt for me regarding the question is "Blurred Vision," both literally and figuratively.

I have a 20-20 eyesight and I don't want to have to wear glasses. I love reading and surfing the internet. It's such a petty thing, I know. Figuratively, I don't want to loose sight of God's plan for me.  I admit, I often stumble as I go my way towards what He (hopefully) wants for me. Right now, I'm still not sure, but as I write this, I  believe I'm one step closer. From time to time, I try to reflect about what has happened in my life, how things from the past affected where I am now, and how can my actions today can affect my future. It's the pebble in the water effect, or the butterfly effect. As Newton would put it, every action has an equal and opposite reaction. I'm truly grateful for everything that's happened in my life so far. All the ups and downs, everything made me closer to God. And that makes me feel like my vision isn't blurred at all. Regarding what I'm doing now, I'm having slight problems. I'm always "pinanghihinaan ng loob" regarding my book illustration project. I'm having a hard time taking criticism and putting it to good use. I just want to get it over with. I know, with God, I can do it. I hope with the hard work and dedication I put in making my thesis, everything will be okay and I'll have clearer vision of what lies ahead. Stumbling and getting up is just part of it all, and I plan to embrace that fact. 

YOLO

I'm not one to stay up all night talking with friends, playing card games, singing along to cheesy songs, and smelling their fart. But last night, that's what I did. That's what we did. With barely an hour's worth of sleep, it wasn't rewarding for my body, but the laugh-out-loud moments were worth it. It was supposed to be a thesis-making all nighter but it dissolved to bonding, teasing, sharing, and having fun. After all, this is our last year in college (hopefully, I'm still praying) and no one remembers the night you got enough sleep. YOLO! Or more appropriately, you're only in college once! (Unless, you want to continue studying after you graduate)

It was a spontaneous gathering leading to the conclusion that "yung hindi pinaplano, yun ang natutuloy/what was not planned, usually pushes through" (not sure if the translation is the best, but you get what I mean). I long for more get togethers like that before I graduate. Hopefully, I can squeeze enough of it and still have time for my book illustration project! [On that note, please pray for me. I need strength and motivation to finish this project. Thank you.]

Get togethers like that always make me grateful. For awesome friends, their ability to make me laugh when I'm not really up for it, yummy food for breakfast, songs you can easily sing along to, getting teary-eyed because of laughter, laughing harder because of a funny-sounding laugh, videos that will remind us how fun it is to be young, that generous friend who treated us with some fries, that friend who always pronounces words wrongly, hilarious photos from last night, doing something fun and productive at the same time, and just for being alive to experience all of that. BIG THANKS TO MY CREATOR, WHO IS TRULY AWESOME! :-)

Beauty of risks

I'm about to take a risk regarding my final thesis by changing the main message of my study. Firstly, my study is about a book illustration for the poem, Some Women by Bunny Ty. The poem is about some women's vanity, hence the title. It contains lines about beautification practices of women and lines about underlying actions regarding those practices. The main focus of the study is the exploration of my chosen method which is collage.

Last Thursday, a friend and I went to Bates(an ad agency where I interned last summer), to get some tips and advice from the art directors and designers regarding our thesis. What I thought would be just a simple interview led to a profound realization that the message of the study I'm currently working on is not socially relevant. It may seem relevant for me, since it will benefit me as an artist, but it seems that it doesn't have any significance for our society. The art director I consulted with briefly read the overview of my study, and gave me the advice that I need: to think of a stronger message other than promoting the method of my choice.

Right now, I'm researching more into the market's perception of Filipina beauty. Some say it's our simplicity, others say it's our tanned skin, some would mention our caring personality. But then it all comes down to what would my interpretation be. After all, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.
What is Filipina beauty for me, what is my idea of beauty, what is it that I want to convey in my illustrations? I need to answer these questions as soon as I can so that I can move forward with my study. All I can do now is to look for inspiration, to gather the right information, and to hope that this risk I'm about to take will be worth it in the end.

A question to ponder: what is your idea of (Filipina) beauty?